The Christian Rant

As the words come on the screen, everyone raises their hand at the same time. As the music starts, they all rush to be the best worshipper at the front. As the speaker talks, the “good ones" make sure to put their phones down and silently judge those who may be looking at it for a brief second longer. This is what you see when you go into a youth group now a days. A group of well-oiled robots programmed to believe that they are living life for God, while they drink the night before and judge those sitting right next to them.

It is crazy to think that this is our view on worshipping Jesus now. The youth programs today do not accept the unwanted. They want every individual to be polished to the tee, to be a perfect Jesus clone. The lost are not welcomed. The confused are not welcomed. The ones who made mistakes, they are not welcomed. They constantly drill into the heads of their youth that perfection is key to religion. They teach them when the right time to raise their hands to worship their God is, not when they feel the Holy Spirit moving in them but when the right words appear on the screen. They teach them to run to the front, no matter what they are feeling. Despite the bad day, the awful event, or anything they are going through, they should put on a polished face to worship the Lord. Then they are taught to judge their neighbor who is on their phone during the service, instead of ask them if life is going okay.

We need to stop trying to formulate a well oiled machine for the battle at the end of the world. We need to stop trying to make the army of God perfect. We need to stop. And start being like Jesus. We need to act with our hearts, lead through love. This phony, fake Christianity is just proving to the world that what they believe about us “Christians” is a hundred percent true. It is showing them how immature and juvenile we are. It does not show the glory that God wants us to show.

These youth programs are killing the fire in the courageous souls of the young. These programs are taking those who are running after Jesus and telling them that they are doing it wrong. Instead of critiquing every move we make… why don’t you act like Jesus and encourage us along the way?

It's time for the youth of America to take a stand. No longer should they become Christians, but followers of Jesus. It’s time to take a stand and show the world that they don’t know what a true Christian is.

A Christian is imperfect. A Christian makes mistakes. A Christian messes up over and over and over again. A Christian loves. A Christian forgives. A Christian accepts all people.

A Christian loves all people.

A dream is a wish your heart makes

     Nicaragua 2014 was a turning point in my life, that is the first time that I stepped foot on the grounds of the dump, now known as The Pines. This dump caused conflicting feelings in the hearts of every person on the team, many people asking God why. Why do things like this happen to such faithful people? Why am I not in their place? Why is it them? As my friends and I wrestled with these thoughts, I began to think of what. What, God, can I do? What can you show me, Lord, that I can do to fix this problem in front of me? What can I do to make this place more glorified for you. I never expected to get the answer I did, and trust me- do not ask God for an answer if you are not ready for His God-sized answer. What God will do is not what you have planned, but it is bigger and better.
   After I got home from that mission trip in 2014, I told my family that I wanted to start and collect my change to put into the dump for our trip in 2015. That was my only goal, to raise and collect some extra change to give to Port for some extra food... God was not pleased. He knew that there was more, that I was able to do much more than collect a few cents for His people. With the help of Jim, God begun to put thoughts into my heart, ideas on how the dump could prosper and become better for His people. As I begun to think, I had the thought of a fundraiser. I thought of a small event at my mom's gym, I could raise a few hundred dollars, hand it over to the church to give to Pastor Earl, and my job would be done.

Boy was I wrong.

   After many talks and planning sessions with Jim, it was decided that we needed to go bigger and better than a little fundraiser at the gym, so we did. We ended up being able to do a workout at Concord Mall. I got publicity from friends and the public, the money kept coming and coming. We first reached a thousand, I was thrilled, and then the money did not stop. God was in work... and after research I thought I knew exactly where I wanted the money to go. I wanted a feeding center at the dump. Why? I don't know. How would it be beneficial? I couldn't tell you. All I knew was that I wanted the kids that walk for miles to get food to have a safe place to eat it, not just squatting by the side of the road to shovel it in their mouths before the long walk back.

   After the fundraiser, the final number came to $6,000. Wow, I raised $6,000 to build a feeding center for the people of the Pines. I then thought it would be easy to get the money to Pastor Earl and get the project done... but July was not God's timing, He wanted me to wait. Through many phone calls, emails, and long-waited moments, I finally got to talk to one man, John Meiser, who is in charge of missions work at Granger Community Church. When he talked to me, he had to be the one to tell me that there were no plans in the future for a feeding center at the dump. I was crushed. I saw it on Verbo's website, but there was some kind of miscommunication, and now I did not know what to do with this $6,000 I had raised. I told so many people that this money was going towards a feeding center, and yet now I had no clue what to do with it. So, I waited. John Meiser told me to wait until he got back from Nicaragua in October and we would talk again. I waited, for many months, with $6,000 waiting in my bank account. I was frustrated, confused, and felt hopeless. I thought that this would be easy... I raised money and now it should go to what my vision was. But through this, I just had to wait. And I lost faith that God had a plan in all of this... but of course, this was all in God's plan.

   Fast forward to Monday, November 9th, at around 10 am. At this time, I was talking to my mom, telling her that I have given up. I was just going to give John the money, tell him to somehow give it to the dump or feeding center, and move on with everything. I have given up on my dream and God. Then, while studying in Jazzman's at 2 pm, I looked at my phone and I had a Facebook message from John Meiser, "Call me ASAP." So, I did. And because I did, God showed me that giving up on Him was silly, that He wouldn't let me down. He showed me that the vision He had placed in my heart was truly from Him. God had spoken, I had answered, and now... the kids of the Pines will have a feeding center. When John told me that life missions was matching my numbers and that there was going to be feeding center at the dump, because of my vision, I almost broke into tears. Because of a vision God put into my heart... these beautiful kids will have a place to sit and eat. They will have a place to get food even if it rains. They will have a place to eat without flys and stray dogs surrounding them. They will no longer have to eat out of the back of a truck. They will have a hope for a better future. God is truly amazing, and He has shown me through all of this that He is mighty, and because of Him, great things happen.

 
 After I got the phone call from John, I called all my family and friends and told them the good news. As I was talking to Jim, my partner since the beginning, I mentioned that it was time to start planning for next year. He laughed, told me to celebrate first, then we plan. Well, I believe that the celebration will continue as the months continue and the feeding center is built, but it is also time to plan for Funds for Food, round two. And trust me, it is already underway.

    To the kids at the dump,
  Thank you for showing me joy and hope in the world. Through your smiles and your simple love for being alive, you inspired me. By February 2016, you will now have a place to sit and eat. And I know that this is just the beginning of an entire process to change your lives.







To Julio, the man who runs it all,

 

    Thank you for sharing your vision with me. I pray that this feeding center will be a building block to your missions. You inspire me and because of you I want to continuously be in mission at the dump, and I hope that God will allow me to continue to work with you.

To everyone else,
   Thank you. Because of your donations, because of your faith in me, and because of your encouraging words... my family will now have a place to eat.

God is good all the time, and all the time... God is good.

Bread and Peanut Butter

There are moments in life that you will never forget, from the day you graduate high school to the day you marry the love of your life. There are things in life that Americans look forward to, that they want to pursue and accomplish before sitting down and enjoying life. Americans are in such a rush to do the next thing and find the next answer, they never sit down and enjoy the simple things presented in front of them.

When is the last time you sat down and had a piece of bread with peanut butter on it? Do you think it tasted extraordinary?

Probably not... but why not? I mean, peanut butter is amazing!

Meet my friend, Chesly, from Nicaragua. Chesly is from a village outside of Puerto Cabezas, and he was brought to Verbo by Lucas. Chesly did not know what many things were,  from soap to the toilet- he had no clue. Not only was Chesly unfamiliar with objects we brush off our shoulders, he also spoke no Spanish or English, solely Miskito. But he was ready to learn and enjoy everything he came in contact with.

I was only with Chesly for about an hour one night at dinner, but that night was my favorite dinner experience in Nicaragua. I sat across from Chesly and to watch the smile on his face is indescribable. He was thankful for the opportunity to be at the table, eating food, with a group of strangers that look nothing like him who took him under their wings. Throughout dinner, Chesly started to learn a few miscellaneous English words, he was ready to dive into this new world presented to him.

The reason I write about Chesly is not to make you feel bad for him or to have you want to change the world, but to simply change your mindset. My favorite part of dinner was when Chesly ate a piece of bread with peanut butter on it... his reaction was how we should view every blessing that God has placed in our lives.

Look at his amazement, his love. And for what? Some bread and peanut butter. I cannot even imagine what our lives would look like if we saw each event that we endured like this. If we looked at life with the same amazement that Chesly tasted in that peanut butter.

Take a step back every now and then and think, would I be thankful for just a piece of bread and some peanut butter? I sure hope one day I will have that same look on my face when presented with what God has planned for me.

I no longer want to argue with God, be mad at God, or wonder why He did not do it my way. Instead, I want to look at Him in amazement because He made something as wonderful as peanut butter.

Thank you

As I have walked through life, there have been trials that I have had to face to get where I am today. Although these things have been difficult and the situation was not always ideal, what made it easier were the people that stood by my side through it all. I have been very fortunate to have my family and friends with me through all situations. These people have influenced me and shaped me into the person I am today and I could not be more fortunate.

My mother and father have been two of the main people in my life who have stood by my side through everything. When I was younger, they both enforced important values in my life. The most influential of these values were respect, truth, and love. These three lessons have gotten me to where I am today. With the value of respect implanted into my life, I have learned that every individual that I come into contact with deserves a hello and a smile. This form of respect was enforced in my childhood by my parents and that has helped me succeed in academics, sports, and life itself. My parents also taught me to always be truthful in every situation. The truth is something that is not always enforced in our society, but my parents assured that both my siblings and I always told the truth, because that would earn us respect from all individuals. Not only did my parents want to make sure we were truthful and respectful, but that we showed love to every individual that we came in contact with. When I was a kid, it was a  tradition to visit the shelter on Thanksgiving to serve the homeless before celebrating at home. This tradition has stayed dear to my heart and has developed into a passion for serving others. There is no better feeling than seeing a smile on someone’s face that is in the darkest alleys of their lives. As a child, my parents made sure that I had all of these aspects in my life, but as I grew up, they impacted me in ways greater than a few life lessons.  

When I was thirteen years old, my parents got a divorce. To this day, that word makes my stomach drop, my heart ache, and a lump form in my throat. But, it is only a word. It is not what happened because of the word, but the initial impact of it. Society views divorce as an awful aspect of life where adults act foolish and completely forget their children in the process. But, the way that my parents have impacted my life the most is through how they acted during their divorce. They were not the typical American parents who continually fought and made the kids choose, but to this day they put us first. And that has showed me the true meaning of life. My parents care for, love, and truly want their kids and each other to prosper in every way. This has made the biggest impact in my life because it shows that although we all go through rough trials in life, but if one has the right people by their side, they can make it through anything. My parents impacted me greatly because they did not let the problems they were facing break our family apart, but make us stronger. My parents showed me the meaning of life: to love so powerfully that nothing can break it.

Not only do parents have an impact in an individual's life, but the people that God blesses one with at the most unexpected times. As my entire family was adjusting to the new life of a divorced family, we soon had to adjust to an additional three people, and one of these individuals has greatly impacted my view of life. My step-dad came into our lives when it felt like nothing was going right and helped shine the light of Jesus on a hopeless situation. My step-dad, Jim, led me to Jesus. Although my parent’s divorce was not an extreme situation, it still made a great impact on my life and at times, I felt lost. I never knew who to go to or what to do, but when my mother met Jim, he showed me that answer. Jim took my family to Grace Community Church for the first time four years ago. Unknown to him and us, this would change the entire course of my life. Jim not only showed me who I could go to in the midst of the darkest times in my life, but who I should serve for the rest of my life. He was the answer from God that showed me where I belonged and where I should stand. Jim has done so much for my family the past four years, but the one thing I can never repay or thank him enough for is saving my life. He helped me become reborn in Jesus Christ, which changed the entire course of my future. The greater impact that he blessed us with was not only saving me, but my entire family as well. Due to his leading us to church, my entire family grew closer to God and to each other. It is peculiar to look at how God takes the darkest times in life and shines a light directly on them, but that is what He did with Jim, whom without I would be lost, and still searching for the light.

As I walked throughout elementary and middle school, I had amazing friends who were always by my side, but in high school is where I made the most amazing relationships. There are so many people who made an impact in my life throughout high school, but when I look back I see one person who challenged me, lifted me up, confronted the hard situations, and never left my side. My best friend, Brennan, was always there for me through everything that high school consisted. To describe what Brennan has done for me is hard, but I will forever be thankful for him. During high school, Brennan was that friend who was there not only to pick me up in the hard situations or to cheer me on during the positive, but to challenge me. I believe that an important aspect of being a friend is to challenge one another to grow as a person through Christ, and he did just that. He helped my relationship with God flourish into things that I could never imagine happening when I got baptized freshman year. He made sure that I was always following my dreams, connecting with Jesus, and shining the light of God to all I came in contact with. The impact that Brennan made in my life in just four years is huge and it helped me develop into the person I am today. He not only helped me and challenged me, but would put me in my place when I needed the truth. As an individual, I am stubborn in my ways, and when it was needed, Brennan would set me straight. A true friend is one who will do anything for you, and those words do not stand truer for any person I know then Brennan. The impact that he had has made has an everlasting mark in my life.

These are only a few of the people who have made an impact in my life, but these four individuals have helped shape me into the person I am today. All four of them are different and their influence on my life is each uniquely different. Despite their differences, they are all special to me in many ways and have shaped me into who I am today.

Now what?

   It's been three days since I have been home and I already want to go back. I know this is not a surprise to most people, especially my family and closest friends, but I feel like my mission in Nicaragua is not even close to over. There are so many things that should and could be done over there, I find myself sitting in my air conditioned home wishing I was in the humid conditions many miles away. I find myself thinking, "Now what?"
  What can I do to help my family in Nicaragua. What can I do from a little town in Indiana to help my family so far away. These last couple days have been the hardest I have gone through when coming home from Nicaragua. I feel helpless. I feel as if there is no way that what I did over the last nine days can compare to what I am doing at home. I have faced many questions in my head ranging from "How can I help while I am here?" to "Will I ever see my best friends again?" These questions are hard to face, especially when you know God's plans for you are well beyond your last trip as a student. I feel like I need to change the world for God, but I feel limited to the plans at home.
  As I have faced the lies fed to me that my work in Nicaragua is over, I am reminded continuously by God through books, friends, family, and church that at the age of nineteen, there is no possible way my mission is complete. God has a mission for each one of us, and I know mine is to serve Nicaragua, but I cannot serve this country without more knowledge. I cannot face the challenges in a different country without preparing myself at home. As the last couple days have progressed, I have shed many tears in realization that I do not know when I will see my best friends beautiful smiles again, but that does not mean that I can sit still.
  Today in church, Pastor Jim was talking about when God says go, we go. Of course, I took this as another excuse to get out of America on the next plane to Puerto Cabezas, Nicaragua- my home. But, God made me listen a little closer. Yes, God wants me in Port one day... but thats just it. One day. God has taken the last four years to prepare me for a mission as a student in Nicaragua by using the leaders at GSM to walk me through the paths. But now, I am facing this journey alone. I need to prepare myself for what God has next, no matter how crazy or risky it is. And that means I have to listen to all the little go's before the big one that God has already placed in my heart. I have to go to college. I have to go to my community. I have to go to my friends. I have to go wherever Jesus takes me these next couple of years to prepare me for what is to come. I am unsure on when or how I can serve at home in the future, but I know that I want to take the passion that I have for Nicaragua and bring it to my community. If I do not pursue life the same way in Indiana as I do in Nicaragua, I am not living out Gods plans for me. I am not listening to the small go's.
  Although its hard to see where to go now, especially not knowing when I will see Nicaragua again, I know that I need to listen to what God has to say. I need to say yes to every chance that is placed in front of me, no matter how crazy. I need to grow in my own relationship with Jesus as well as help my community point its feet in the right direction. If I don't follow God's plans now, I know there is a big chance that I will not succeed in Nicaragua.
  It's hard coming back to America and trying to confirm back to life. The struggles I have faced coming home this time have clearly showed me that it is not time to confirm to the world, but step out and show the world how mighty God is.
  So... now what?
  Honestly? I don't know. And that scares me. Going off to college, facing new challenges, and not knowing when I get to go back to Nicaragua are three of the most scariest things I have ever faced. I don't know any answers yet, but I do know that I need to embrace life in America as I do in Nicaragua. I need to say yes to everything placed in front of me, because I never thought twice about climbing up on a couple of pieces of wood nailed together to slab some cement on a wall... so why should I hesitate in living my life for Jesus in America?
 And the answer is clear... I shouldn't.
  Every day I am back in America, I miss my family in Nicaragua just a little more, but I know that they are not far away and that one day, I will see them again.

I love you my Nicaraguan family and I miss you everyday.

Would you be joyful if...

    Joy. Not happiness, but joy. That is what we need in our lives. Pure, perfect joy. As outsiders, many people think that Americans should be filled to the top with endless joy. I mean, we have all the necessities in life plus more, from T.V's in our cars to flowing hot water with the snap of our fingers. Yet, as an outsider would look around America, there is more sadness and want for more then anywhere else in the world. Through all generations, good is never enough... but why not? All that we have should make us enlightened to live, but Americans cannot take the time to open their eyes enough to see how blessed they are, because they are to worried about what they can get next. Take it from one little boy that I heard on the plane, "There's no TV's? You've got to be kidding me! I'm so done." This little boy was about ten years old... and I would love to have put him in the shoes of the Nicaraguans I met on this trip for just one day.
  We all hear about the poverty in the world, but we do not realize how hard they have it until we hear it from them. Over the course of spring break, I heard a lot of comments about life from Nicaraguans that I was unaware of... and it made me think. How joyful would our lives be if we lived like they do? Would our smiles be genuine, like theirs? Would we be willing to help the others in our country, even though we have next to nothing? Would we greet the Americans, that we know have so much, with open arms?

Just think, how joyful would you be if...

You only had one meal a day- and to get to that meal you had to walk at least 5 miles... sometimes with a baby on your back. Oh, and you are only six.

You went to stay in a hotel, and you thought that big white swirly thing was to wash your hands... because you've never used a real toilet. Or, you thought the liquidity stuff by the sink was to put in your hair... because you never knew what hand soap was.

You had to be at work at 7 a.m, or your job would be given to someone else. But, to get there- you had to walk 30 min from home, then 30 min back for lunch, to work again, and finally at 5, home again.

Your salary at the end of the month was $200, $2,400 a year if you had no weeks off... and that is if you were a teacher, less if you did manual labor. That would be less than $1 an hour.

You had to sleep on a picnic table every single night, because there was no bed for you to claim as your own... and you are only seventeen.

People live like this. Every single day of their life. But, they radiate joy. They radiate a sense of pure satisfaction with their lives... they feel blessed to be in the position that they are. Would you? If you were handed those cards in life, would you feel blessed?

I would love to take every American child to Nicaragua so that they could learn, so that they could see what happiness is really about. It is not about the brand names you wear, or if there are T.V's on the plane... it is about what God blessed us with, and how we react to them.

Top 10: #1

      Have you ever looked into the eyes of a stranger and instantly felt a connection? Have you ever felt like you were put there in that moment to take care of that person. It seems that each time I go to Nicaragua, I feel this connection. When I am there, I do not want to leave because I know that, even though I am going home to the luxury's of the United States, those closest to my heart are still in the lands of poverty. The places that I feel the most connection seems to be at the feeding center. When I am there, I instantly connect to the people, and this year it was one girl in particular. The name of the girl is unknown, since the language barrier increases when we travel to this part of the country, but the pain was loud and clear.
    Each time I go to the feeding center, I am astounded by the maturity of the children there. Children the age of eleven are seen walking for miles holding their little siblings, just to assure that they get food. They are seen making sure that their siblings are not hurt, instead of having fun with the other kids that are their. They are seen caring and loving for each other. If you put an American eleven year old child in their position, they would be lost of what to do. These children have the responsibilities of adults, and I can't believe how willing they are to take on the challenge. (The picture below is of a young girl who takes the responsibility to care for her little sister at the feeding center)

 The sad part about the responsibilities that these children have is that they have no one there to take care of them. No one to give them a hug, to make sure they are able to eat- because they are in charge.
   Although it was the most heartbreaking thing I have ever experienced, it was also the most powerful. My number one experience this year in Nicaragua happened with one little girl in particular, whose picture will be below, that needed the love of someone, because she went so long without any love at all. This little girl taught me that a hug can go a long way, that just being their for someone can help cure even the biggest hurts.
  When we got to the feeding center that day, I began playing with all the kids- we are like their jungle gyms. As I was playing, one girl in particular came up to me and was my buddy for the day. We played, laughed, and she introduced me to her siblings- there were two of them that were younger then her. As we played, I could tell that this girl was different, I felt an attachment that usually is not experienced at the feeding center. As the morning went on, we began serving the kids lunch. All the kids got to their tables, prayed, and then lined up for food.
  After they eat, the children can either hang around a little more or go straight home. As we were all still hanging out and playing, one of my teammates came up to me, saying that the little girl I was playing with earlier was crying- but she did not know how to ask what was wrong in Spanish. I went over their, and the girl who was laughing and playing earlier was crying painful tears. Something was wrong. She needed help. My heart broke as I slowly interpreted what was wrong with my beautiful friend. She continued to explain through hand motions and broken Spanish that she had a headache. Now, we all get headaches, but the ones that bring us to tears are apparent for more then one reason.  As I held and rocked her, I told her Jesus loved her. I told her I loved her. I held back with every ounce of my being the tears that were milliseconds from my eyes. I did not want this little girl to have to worry about me- it was her turn to be taken care of. As I continued to take care of her, she began to calm down. I assumed that she had eaten her food- so she should not have this headache because of starvation. But my assumptions could not be further from the truth. When she was calmed down enough to be able to show that she was not crying, she went over to get her book bag to show me something. As she opened her bag, I was astonished. There was a full meal in their, untouched by her little hands. I motioned to it and she began saying no, no, no. I understood. She was not allowed to eat the food that was handed to her. My gorgeous friend who kept crying and crying because her head was pounding because she was hungry, sacrificed herself so that her parents and any other siblings at home could eat. She sacrificed so much, just because she loved her family. At this sight, I was close to tears. I wanted her to eat. I wanted to bring her entire family all of the food I had back at the base just so that my friend could eat, so she did not have to cry because her stomach was empty. I wanted to be able to fix it.
   This little girl in the blue and pink shirt changed my entire trip. I have wanted to change Nicaragua before, but she has inspired me to do as much as I can to keep that smile on her face. She showed me that I can not provide everything to make her life better, but I can provide what she needs most. A hug and an I love you- the power of love is the greatest thing out there. It can heal tears, hunger, and anything that this girl faces. Te amo mi amiga. I miss you.

"Three things will last forever- faith, hope, and love- and the greatest of these is love." 1 Corinthians 13:13

Top 10: #2

  "Come on mommy, its time to go to see that truck! It is time to eat! What is taking you so long? Come onnnn mom!!"

  ... What if the truck is not there, what if they ran out of money to feed us, what am I going to tell my baby girl? How will she react when she sees that empty space, no one to feed us. No one to give her a morsel of food to hold her over until the next time they come. What if I have to dig through that dump again? What if the food is not enough? What if they bring so few, that my baby girl doesn't get any. What if? What if? What if... 

  These could be many of the numerous questions that run through a parents mind of a child in Nicaragua... I am unsure. But if I were in this situation, these would be my worries. What if? That questions always lingers near... what if those precious kids do not get any food for that day. That one strikes near my heart, as I continuously remember the faces of the children at the dump.
   Yes... that's right. The dump.
   The place where trash goes. The place that reeks of unimaginable smells. The place that animals scavenge. The place where you see vultures flying around. The place no human should live. The place no human should have to search to find food.
   That is where these people are. That is where these people camp out to see if maybe that truck will come. Mothers, fathers, children, and grandmas. All waiting to see if that one truck will come, if that one truck will bring them a morsel of food, just to fool their stomachs.
  The dump, where no human should even step foot in because of how many disease may be found their. Where children are walking through, to get to the truck that is bringing them food. The miles of dump that these people have to walk through from their village far away, just to get food.
This is poverty. This is sickness. This is sadness. THIS breaks God's heart.
This. Breaks. God's. Heart.

Do you want God's heart broken?
Or do you want to change the world for Him?
Me, I want to change the world... and that is what I will devote my life to. THIS is what I will devote my life to.
  As we pulled up to this place, there were no words I could think of to describe it, and months later it is still hard for me to form these words. We pulled up and there were kids running all around this vacant land. These kids who saw us, they smiled ear from ear, they were joyous, not happy, joyous. As we got out of the bus, we were told to help with materials. Then, words were spoken that we did not understand, and the kids began to form two lines, boys and girls, youngest to oldest. We were handed soap, water, and a towel, and told to wash their hands.
  Now imagine this happening in America. We would hand the kids the soap, wait, then hand them the towel. Right? Its that simple.
 Not in the most poverty struck part of Nicaragua, these kids had no clue how to wash their hands. Not an idea. Most likely because they have never had the opportunity to do it.
       " So, if I, the Master and Teacher, washed your feet, you must now wash each other's feet.  I've laid down a pattern for you. What I've done, you do. I'm only pointing out the obvious. A servant is not ranked above his master; an employee doesn't give orders to the employer. If you understand what I'm telling you, act like it- and live a blessed life." John 13:13-17
  We lived like Jesus. We served like Him. There are not enough words to express the feelings I had while washing these kids hands and watching my friends do the same, as well as hearing many of my friends tell each and every child "Jesus te amo." Jesus loves you.
  Although this was the hardest part of the trip, it was impact-full. It made me realize that His work is never done. That these kids, this country, needs Jesus more every year.
  As we continued to serve these kids, they went from washing hands to getting their food that some of our team prepared earlier at the feeding center. They were timid, because they did not know who we were, but they were joyous at what we handed them. As I stood back and saw my team dive into serving these kids, I took a moment to look at where we actually were. It was empty. There were no buildings or any sign of civilization in any direction. But, as I looked closer to where we were, I saw an old lady, maybe in her late eighties or early nineties, sitting on the grass. Waiting. As I looked at her, she just smiled at me. This smile took me aback, how can she be happy here? I was baffled. I went up to the leader in charge of distributing food and made sure it was okay if I took food to her, he gave me two bags of food and drink. I walked over there, and again her smile shown down upon me. She couldn't talk to me, nor I to her, but the smiles were enough exchange.
  After all of the food was given out, we went to see what the dump was, what these people had to walk through to get their food... As I described above it was awful. Something no human should be happy with. But as I looked pass the dump and the smell, I saw kids skipping, laughing, and running. They were not happy, they were joyous. Someone cared about them, someone loved them. Jesus loves them. They do not care about all those little things that are in life, they are just joyous. They now have food in their tummies and are going back home to play. They are alive another day. The parents are smiling because the truck came... it came. It did not fail them, Jesus did not fail them. 

Top 10: #3

  When I was little, the one thing that brought me the most joy in my life were my baby dolls, every single one of them. I would take care of them as if they were real, because to me they were. I would feed them, change them, and make them take a nap in their crib. I would talk to them, carry them everywhere, take them on walks through my neighborhood: everything with my babies. These babies were my pride and joy when I was younger. And we all have that one object or person that we want to show off... just think about yours. Generally in America, it is a car, or a kid, or a big flat screen T.V, but for a little boy in Nicaragua, it is his notebook of Angry Bird stickers that he wants to show off to every foreign white person he sees after walking miles from his home to receive his one meal of the day... now hear me out, I will explain why this is so important to me. Actually, so important that it is my number three of my top ten moments on Nicaragua '14. 

     Every year, one of the things I look forward to when we step off that tiny plane into Puerto Cabezas is going to the feeding center. Since the first time I set foot into the feeding center, it captured my heart. The kids there generally cannot communicate with us because they do not speak one word of Spanish, let alone English. Most of them primarily speak Miskito, so the communication there is next to nothing. These kids are also not like the orphans back at base. The orphans at base are well taken care of, loved on, fed, and helped throughout life by Pastor Earl and his loving staff. The kids at the feeding center are not as fortunate as the orphans on base. These kids face starvation, endless disease, and they strive to help their families in any way possible. Most of them do not attend school because their families cannot afford to send them. These kids are the ones that people picture when they think of a child in poverty. With that, most people think these children would be bitter, selfish, sad, and damaged. They do not even come close to those characteristics. And this is why I love the feeding center, because the hearts of the children there are so big. They are hurt, they are starving, they deserve so much more then they are receiving as children of God, but they are filled with joy. They have endless joy because they are receiving a meal, they are filled with joy because someone is holding them, they are filled with joy because they are being loved, and they are joyful that they may own a book of Angry Bird stickers. Now we are back to my little buddy, number three on my list. 

   My little buddy, who sadly I did not learn the name of because of the language barrier, captured my heart. I was walking around playing with a lot of the kids in the feeding center when I saw this little three or four year old boy sitting at a table. The little kids generally catch my eye because I love that age. I went over and waved, knowing that not one word would be understood between me and this little boy, who I figured would soon run away and find his older sibling like most of the younger kids did. We just played around, messing with each other's hands and smiling, the only communication we needed. When he suddenly got up and tugged me with him. I followed this excited boy to a little bag that his siblings and him kept their bowls and plates in. He started

digging in this bag, maybe thinking he needed his plate soon... when suddenly he pulled out this little notebook. He opened it up, turned to his favorite page, and pointed to a page filled with angry bird stickers, and looked up at me with a big smile. And I reflected that right back at him. The pride on his face that he owned these stickers, that they were his, was unbelievable. I have never seen someone so proud of something, especially something so little. (He is the little boy in the blue shirt). 

  

   Why are we not as proud as this little boy with the little things we have in life? Who are we to demand the big things? We could have just as well been placed in this little boys shoes, with nothing but a book of stickers. Why do we need to have a thousand possessions to be proud of? Why can't we be proud of the little things in our lives? God provides us with so much but yet we fail over and over to notice the green grass on the ground and the sun in the sky, the little things he has provided us with. I look around America today and see three and four year olds with their noses in a tablet or ipod, what happened to giving them stickers? Dolls? Anything that they should be responsible for, to take care of, something that they can have pride in. Something that is not a materialistic possession, but that we possess true pride in having. We take so many things for granted, but when I remember my little buddy, I have to remind myself to take time out of my day, and appreciate everything, even an Angry Bird sticker.